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To My Future Daughter-In-Love

Daughter-In-Love,

I think about you often.  Ever since my sweet little man came into my life, I can’t take my mind off of you. What are you going to be like?  Are you going to be shy?  Will you be funny?  I’m sure you’ll be beautiful.  Will we love each other immediately?  Or will it take us time to grow in love?

I hope we love each other immediately.  The mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship is probably the toughest one to get right.  I’m a wife.  I know the words that I sometimes say to my husband to tear him down.  I know when I’m not supportive and instead am truthfully hurtful and hateful.  I look at my precious baby boy and can’t stand the thought of a woman saying such things to him.  This would make it easy for me to immediately write you off.  I want you to know that’s not my heart.  It’s not going to be easy to see the little guy I nursed, bathed and loved with my whole heart leave me to start his family.  I know that, I can understand that logically.  I can only imagine how much it will hurt.  But I want you to know I’m choosing now to love you.

I’m resolved in this moment to continue to keep you at the front of my thoughts.  To pray for the type of woman you will grow to be.  Every time my heart thinks of my little boy growing up to be a man, I resolve now to say a prayer of love over you and over our relationship.

I pray for your mom and dad.  Maybe you and your parents are just learning each other.  Maybe your mom is worried she’s not doing a good enough job. Maybe your parents are praying about my son, right this very moment.  That we would raise him to be kind and gentle, to honor and protect you.  I wish I could tell them we are doing our very best.  I hope you one day know that we did.

I pray you are my son’s friend first and foremost.  That you love him for who he is, not who you hope he may become.  That you are his partner, his supporter, his mate and the love of his life.  I hope you learn quickly that choosing your battles is wise.  Not for my son’s sake, but for your sake.  I hope you all have a kind of love that moves mountains.

I pray for the kind of mother you’ll be.  Will you seek my help with my grandbabies?  Or will my knowledge be too outdated?   Will I be seen as a nuisance?  Or will you see me as helpful?  I have full confidence you will be a wonderful mother and I hope you ask me to be a part.  I want to be supportive of you and your choices and help you in any way I can.  Because daughter, this motherhood thing isn’t easy.  I want to be here for you.FOR ANY GIRL

See, I know my time as his number one lady will end.  I understand you’ll replace me for that position.  That’s what I want for both of you, truly.  But that doesn’t mean it will be easy.  I’ve kissed this tiny boy’s hands/feet a million times over.  I nursed him day in and day out, through the pain and through the frustrations.  I took care of him when he was sick, was patient when he had colic.  I’ll kiss his boo-boos and teach him about the birds and the bees.  I’ll watch him grow, graduate, and pray through tears that I have done all I can to shape him into a caring, kind man.  I hope he treats you well.

At the same time, I hope you’ll care for him well too.  Tell him what you need; over-communicate.  Don’t assume he’ll figure it out on his own, men aren’t good at that, love.  Use your words to build him up, not tear him down.  You, YOU, sweet daughter-in-love, will have the power to motivate him to do great things, or beat him down in a way that leaves him lifeless.  Help him figure out what it looks like to be a daddy.  You, will naturally find your role as a mother, he’ll struggle a little bit more.  Be patient with him. Love him through it.  Always kiss him the way you did when you first fell in love with him.  Always tell him you love him.

I think about you often, my dear.  I hope you’re enjoying childhood in the very best way possible.  I hope your life is filled with love and joy!  And while I’m not in a hurry to meet you just yet, I hope you know I’ve always been praying for you.

Love,
Your future mother-in-love

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3 Responses to To My Future Daughter-In-Love

  1. Avatar
    Britnie Sims February 13, 2015 at 6:52 am #

    This is beautiful! Love it.

  2. Avatar
    Patty Rankin February 13, 2015 at 9:53 am #

    Absolutely lovely! I couldn’t agree more. Great post!

  3. Avatar
    Jennifer Meyer February 23, 2015 at 2:05 pm #

    This was truly well-written and beautiful. As someone who has had a tumultuous relationship at times with my MIL, this helped me to understand her a bit more.

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