I don’t think I will ever forget the comment made to me on the Mother’s Day before my son was born. I was 8 months pregnant, miserable, and fully cankled. There was a discussion taking place about what each of the women had gotten for Mother’s Day and I made a joke about how my husband had almost dropped the ball. The response I received from one lady shocked me: “He doesn’t have to get you anything! You’re not a mom yet so it doesn’t count.” Aca-scuse me?? Whooooah… If I could have lifted my elephant foot up I would have given her a roundhouse kick to the face.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? Surely you moms can understand where I’m coming from. I was hurt. And offended. Had I given birth yet? No. But was I making choices and sacrifices in the best interest of my child already? Every day. Did I have a relationship with the baby inside me? I sure did. I knew what foods gave him the hiccups. I knew which positions he hated me to be in. I knew I loved him with all my heart. So was I a mom in my perspective? Absolutely.
I tried to step back and understand where this woman was coming from. Motherhood is a role that changes as the children grow so I can recognize and agree that some stages are “easier” than others. But you cannot dismiss the pregnancy stage as a motherhood role because it’s part of the entire process. Her logic was so whackadoodle that I could not wrap my head around it. Let’s say that Mother’s Day is May 10th (like it is this year) and baby is born on May 9th. Husband, you had better be rushing down to Walgreens because this birth has just qualified Wifey as a Momma! Why couldn’t she have held that sucker in until the 11th so you could have been off the hook?? Yeah, no. That just makes no sense to me.
Now lets approach this from an even more sensitive angle. Are we withholding the mom title from those who have miscarried, still-birthed, buried children, or are foster-moms? I dare you to make the same comment to one of the above. You wouldn’t, and you shouldn’t. Being a mom is a state of the heart, so much more than a title given the day you give birth. Your heart is transformed long before your child comes into the world and your life is already being altered from day one.
Let me come back to the specific group of moms I want to address, those currently with child. Hear me loud and clear on this you first-time preggers: THIS MOTHER’S DAY COUNTS FOR YOU. Whether you are 4 weeks pregnant or about to pop – it counts. Whether you give birth on May 9th or May 11th– it counts. Whether you have adored being pregnant or despised every single day – it counts. I see you making difficult decisions regarding birth choices, pediatricians, and even nursery paint colors. I see you giving up your morning coffee, sushi, and much-needed mojitos. I see you attending classes, reading books, and educating yourself on everything baby-related. I see you and your cankles, your bags under your eyes, your enhanced gag reflex. I see you. You’re rocking this mom thing already. So soak up your day because you deserve to be recognized too.
Anna is an Oklahoma transplant originally from Washington state. While here for college she fell in love with OKC as well as her husband Mike. They have been married for 6 years and have 2 hilarious children- Bauer (3) and Davee (1). Anna enjoys hairstyling, working out, indoor soccer, Netflix marathons, and eating terrible things while her kids are asleep. Anna adores several parts of the metro but especially The Village, where she calls home, and the Mid-town area.