The SAHM Struggle

I won’t lie, before I became a Stay at Home Mom, I thought it would be SO easy: I could play with my kids all day (never missing a major milestone), binge watch TV, go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, and never have to wear dress clothes or makeup again (sweatpants for the win!). What I didn’t anticipate, were the struggles that come with being a SAHM.  

While I feel so incredibly blessed to be a SAHM, I also feel overwhelmed and guilty. 

When both parents work it is logical that household duties would be split, but because I don’t work a traditional 9-5 job, I feel like it is my duty to keep a clean house; plan and cook meals; exclusively breastfeed; take my daughter to playdates; do all the laundry; grocery shop; run errands; and never ask for help or complain. I feel as though I have to do everything myself or I am not fulfilling my duties as a SAHM

Some days the only way I can get things done is by wearing my daughter!

Some days the only way I can get things done is by wearing my daughter!

I feel guilty that I get to stay home all day with my daughter while my husband goes to work. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for working parents to leave their kids each day to go to work. I’m so blessed to be able to stay home and witness all of her milestones, but I want my husband to witness them too! I actually limited my daughters floor time the past few months to the hours that my husband was home at night so that he wouldn’t miss her first crawl! Thankfully, he has been home for all of her major milestones, but not all working parents are that lucky. 

I feel guilty complaining about rough days. My husband will often come home needing to vent about work and tell me how stressful his day was, but I feel guilty complaining about my horrific day. Being a SAHM is not all sunshine and rainbows! Some days my daughter cries all day, pukes everywhere, has explosive diapers, doesn’t sleep, and the only thing I get accomplished is pre-treating stains on a dozen outfits and burp rags because the laundry NEVER stops, all while I have a horrible headache but I feel guilty saying anything other than “today was a little rough.”

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One of our “rough” days

I feel guilty taking time for myself. The days of pedicures, frivolous shopping, massages, and even dentist appointments are long gone because I feel like I’m abandoning my job duties by asking someone to watch my daughter for me. 

I’ve always heard the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child,” but as a SAHM, I often feel like I have been exiled from the village. Being a SAHM is hard, lonely, and overwhelming; but, it is also, without a doubt, the best job I have ever had. 

 

Fellow Stay at Home Moms, how do you squeeze in time for YOU? 

 

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4 Responses to The SAHM Struggle

  1. Lori Harris February 1, 2017 at 7:51 pm #

    Ha! You definately hit the nail on the head! It’s so hard to get everything done, even when 4 of my boys are in school everyday! It’s a never ending job! You think it will get easier when they get older, but that has yet to happen and the oldest is 23! I don’t know how working mothers get anything done at all! Tomorrow I will send the boys off to school, crank up my country music, do my list of housework, then try to rest just before the boys come home and I have to deal w/homework, baths/showers, and remember to feed them at some point before bed! Sleep and repeat!

    • Alana Livingston
      Alana Livingston February 1, 2017 at 7:55 pm #

      EXACTLY, Lori! I was hoping it would get easier as my daughter gets older, but I didn’t think about all of the extra stuff that will get added on to my to-do list! I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be to multiply that times 4! Keep up the good work, Momma!

  2. Chelsea April 26, 2017 at 10:28 am #

    I feel the exact same way! Only being a sahm is a 24/7 never ending job. The only breaks we get are when we ask for them. It’s a very hard/demanding job that I think doesn’t get enough credit. But I can’t shake that guilt either. Maybe someday we’ll realize we’re working just as hard.

  3. Jenna June 25, 2017 at 9:27 am #

    Agreed! Sometimes, my 2 AM bathroom run is the best, quietest alone time of the day and I linger a few extra minutes, brush my teeth one more time, or just sit in the living room all by myself before returning to bed.

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