Ladies, let me tell you right now there are not just three stages in pregnancy, a.k.a. three trimesters. I think there are at least nine, and no one really talks about these stages. But these right here are the true stages of pregnancy that I think most moms can relate to. If you can’t, then count yourself lucky, and say a prayer for the rest of the pregnant population because we need them!
- The Excitement Stage – You just found out you’re pregnant! Woo-hoo! Congratulations! You can’t wait to tell everyone you know! Finding out you’re pregnant can be such an exciting stage. I should mention, though, that Stage 1 for some can be denial, as in, “Oh my word, I can’t believe I am pregnant. I thought the condom/pill/(insert your method of failed protection) would work.”
- The Fear Stage – The fear of miscarriage is the biggest one. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a miscarriage or prevent one, but almost every woman thinks about it at some point. Then there’s the fear of what all you ate/drank before you knew you were pregnant and if that’s going to screw up your kid. Or the fear of how in the world will I raise this kid/make sure they aren’t a criminal/keep them alive.
- The Nausea and Vomiting Stage – This stage hits hard. Not just morning sickness, because we all know a man came up with that term and it’s a lie, but constant nausea and/or vomiting. If you did not have to experience this stage, then consider yourself lucky and pray for your fellow pregnant sisters that would like to be able to eat one meal without wanting to throw it up on the floor. This stage can last from a couple of weeks to all pregnancy long if you are an unlucky one (a.k.a. me with my first pregnancy).
- The Clothes Won’t Fit Stage – During this stage, none of your pre-pregnancy clothes fit, but you’re not really big enough for maternity clothes. This is also the stage where people are awkwardly looking at you trying to figure out if you just put on a few pounds or are pregnant.
- The Blissfully Pregnant Stage – This occurs for about a month, but it is the most glorious stage of them all. People can tell you’re pregnant and aren’t thinking you’ve put on weight. You still feel decent and can still move without bumping into everything, plus you can normally eat without vomiting. Enjoy this stage, Mama!
- The “I Am Almost Done” Stage – During this stage you are at the beginning of the third trimester, and the end is in sight. You aren’t feeling completely horrible yet so you think, “Hey, I’ve got this, only 12 more weeks to go!” Oh Sweetie, little do you know (or seem to forget) what’s coming the last couple of months, but I commend you for your hopeful and positive outlook!
- The Annoyed at Your Husband Stage – This is when everything is slowly becoming more and more uncomfortable. You are gaining weight and having trouble sleeping. Meanwhile your lovely husband is sleeping soundly through the night and keeping his perfect body and weight. We do not like our husbands at this stage, especially in the middle of the night when they are sleeping and we aren’t. We might start thinking of ways to wake up our husband just so he can share our pain. Well maybe that’s just me… I am sure you all are better and more mature than I am.
- The “I’m Never Doing This Again” Stage – This stage normally occurs at the end of your pregnancy when everything is swollen (literally everything), your back hurts, and you probably pee a little every time you sneeze. The only benefit to this stage is that you are almost done and your belly makes a great place to rest your bowl of ice cream.
- The “Okay, I’ll Do That Again” Stage – This stage occurs a couple of weeks or months (okay, maybe years) after you have given birth. You have the most adorable baby whom you are so in love with. For some reason the last nine months of pregnancy and all the trials seem to fade, and you forget what it was really like. You start to think, “Hey, maybe I can do that again….”
Well Mama, I am here to tell you that you can probably do it again. It’s okay if you choose not to, no one would blame you, but the outcome is pretty adorable. While pregnancy is trying, I always try to remember that I am grateful for the opportunity to become pregnant and carry a baby. Regardless, what stage of pregnancy did I forget? Is there one you would like to add? Was there a stage of pregnancy that was your favorite, or which one did you hate the most? Let me know!