A Mother’s Winter Rant

untitled-design-2Raise your hand if you’re ready for Old Man Winter to go ahead and buy the farm, kick the bucket, meet his maker? I know I’m not alone. I’m actually over it about 24 hours after the first day below freezing. We may not get much snow and ice in Oklahoma, but the little we do is plenty for me and the biting wind we get makes up for the lack of precipitation. I’m pretty much convinced the only reason holidays like Christmas and Valentine’s day are in winter is to help us have something to look forward to while we’re miserable and freezing! Let’s go over some of the reasons I think most mothers could go ahead and fast forward to spring.

Moms are over the winter accessories

Yeah it’s fun to pick out some matching gloves and hats for your kids at the beginning of the season, but guess what? They get lost at school or church one week after you buy them. No matter how much you stock up on scarves, mittens, earmuffs, and hats on clearance at the end of the season, it will never be enough. They are perpetually in the lost and found bins at school and never adorning the rightful owner they belong to. Let’s say you have 3 kids and you want to go somewhere while it’s 20 degrees out. Some simple math will show you that’s like 15 extra items of clothing they you must not only PUT ON, but try not to lose between point A and point B and back again. Impossible. Enough already. Bring on swimsuit/flipflop season! So much easier!

Moms are over static

Especially if you have daughters with long hair. I can braid, pigtail, ponytail with gels and sprays and it doesn’t matter, their hair is a crazy electric filled mess within minutes. Their coats and hats make their hair even crazier. Brushing is just a big shock fess. Good night kisses are impossible without tears because I shock their faces. And static in the blankets at night gives my kids nightmares. 

Moms are over wiping noses

It’s a well known fact that between December and February, kids noses are basically faucets that never turn off. They aren’t necessarily sick, it’s just what cold weather does to children. Luckily it’s easy to spot the sick ones because the snot crusted to their faces will be various shades of green, gold, and brown. Carrying Kleenex may help but one of those pocket packs could be used in 5 minutes on a few noses and who wants to carry a whole box around?! Wipes help keep the crusties away, but what would help even more is for warm weather to come and dry up those snot filled children!

Moms are over chapped lips and dry skin

The constant wiping of the snot and the cold winter air does a number on sweet baby skin. Constantly applying Vaseline and Aquaphor and goop to their faces is a necessity to keep the redness and sores away but then you have a lubed up kid whose hair is sticking to their face, not to mention any dog hair or crumbs from the floor they just rolled on. Morning and bathtime routines double in the time it takes just to apply the lotion requires to keep your kids from looking like cracked faced crazies! I’ll gladly trade that Vaseline routine for some sunscreen!

Moms are over kids playing indoors

Oh I definitely kick the kids outside for a bit in all kinds of weather, but the time is limited in the winter if I don’t want them losing any digits to frost bite. Put a few 7 year olds in any house, no matter the size, and it automatically will feel like you’ve got a bull in a china shop. Kids need to burn that energy and they need the wide space outdoors to do that in. I know teachers can feel me on this as indoor recess does NOT compare to some quality time on the playground! 

Until personal space heater drones can hover about me wherever I go, I will gladly take the other three seasons over Old Man Winter. Until then though, you can find me slathering my kids in Vaseline and searching for that lost mitten as I countdown the days until spring!

 

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