I Have Momnesia

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Photo Credit: Cassie Duffle Photography

My baby is only 5 months old and I already have momnesia.

No, I’m not talking about what pregnancy brain turns into after the baby is born (mom brain); I’m talking about where the less than pleasant memories about pregnancy, labor, the early days of motherhood, and unruly things your children do go to die.

I’ve always heard people say “You will forget about the pain of childbirth,” but I never believed them. I mean, how could I forget about the pain of pushing a child out of me?! But, I’m a believer now!

You see that photo up there? The moment you meet your baby for the first time should be filled with love, joy, and happiness. If you didn’t know any better, you would probably think those were the emotions I was feeling in that picture, but it wasn’t. Instead, that moment was filled with worry, sadness, anger, and fear. After that day, I told myself (and my family) that I would never have another baby.

Now, 5 months later, when I look at that picture I feel the love, joy, and happiness that I should have felt on that day. If only I had known that it wasn’t my fault she came early, that she would be okay, and that it didn’t matter if I got to encapsulate my placenta or not…hindsight is 20/20.

Despite what I said a few months ago, I would have another baby in a heartbeat (if my husband wasn’t still telling me no). I have finally forgotten about how my labor didn’t go as planned, the horrible days in the NICU, and those sleepless nights in the beginning.

I was talking to my mother about my momnesia the other day and we started laughing about how we both have momnesia in regards to some of our former foster kids. For instance, we completely forgot about how one of our babies had a witching hour EVERY night where she would inconsolably cry for an hour. We loved her so much and she was such a good baby that we just blocked that memory out. Plus, we had another baby who had horrible acid reflux and would puke all day long but we conveniently forgot about constantly being covered in spit up.

I’m sure as I continue on my journey in motherhood, there will be many more things that my momnesia will help me forget (like tantrums in the middle of stores, potty training, and the terrible two’s). But I sure hope to never forget the little things…like the hours I have gotten to spend rocking my little love, the way she adoringly looks at me, the precious moments of breastfeeding, or the way she lights up when I smile at her. Those are the moments I want to remember.

In the meantime, let’s hope my husband will catch dadnesia and allow me to have another baby (fingers crossed)!

Who else has momnesia? What have you forgotten about over the years?

 

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2 Responses to I Have Momnesia

  1. Jenna June 25, 2017 at 9:30 am #

    I wonder if there’s any magic to the 5-month mark. We are about to hit that age, and seeing the brand new babies at Milk Moms sends me straight to momnesia/baby fever land!!

    • Alana Livingston
      Alana Livingston June 25, 2017 at 7:50 pm #

      Yes, I think that is right about the time moms get their heads above water and think “I could totally add another one!” hahaha At least, that was the case with me!

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