Your FAQ’s About Foster Care Answered

There are approximately 460,000 children in foster homes across the nation. These children came into foster care through no fault of their own, and they desperately need homes and people to love them.

Last year, my husband and I went through the long process of becoming foster parents. While this journey hasn’t been without its hiccups and trials, it has been so rewarding.

When people discover that we’re foster parents, they have many questions. Many of these questions are the same things that I found myself wondering before we dove into fostering.

With May being Foster Care Awareness Month, I thought this would be the perfect time to address all of the questions that I’m frequently asked.

1. Do children get to bring their belongings?

The answer is yes and no. If the child was just removed, sometimes the caseworker will grab a few of their things, but a lot of times kids really do come with nothing. I’m talking zero belongings, aside from the clothes on their backs.

2. Are you scared for the safety of your biological children?

We take safety very seriously, and there are many precautions that we take when accepting a new foster care placement. Children in foster care are not damaged. They face many of the same trials that all children face. However, all children in foster care have experienced trauma, including newborns removed from their mothers at birth. Because we have small children in our home, we are aware that we are not equipped to handle all types of trauma at this time, and we cannot accept foster care placements that we are not equipped to handle.

3. Are you worried about how your kids will handle a foster child leaving?

This is something that we discuss with my children all the time. We never let them think that the children that live with us will be staying forever. They know the stays are most likely temporary. While I know this does not change the fact that they will be sad when the children leave, it does set up the expectation for the removal to occur. This doesn’t mean that we won’t miss the children when they leave, but we always focus on the good we did by helping a child who needed it.

4. Are you going to adopt?

Reunification is always the goal. While adoption can happen, there is no such thing as foster-to-adopt. The main goal of foster care is reuniting children with their birth families.

5. What happens to older kids?

If foster children are not reunified or adopted and they remain in DHS custody, children “age out” of foster care. This leaves many young adults with no place to go, no family support, and no means of supporting themselves. In my opinion, this is one of the biggest tragedies in foster care.

5. Aren’t you getting attached?

Yes. Of course I get attached. We deeply love and care for the children in our home. I frequently hear people say that they could never foster because of their fear of becoming too attached. However, children need attachment. If children do not have strong attachments, they typically develop issues that follow them for life. So ultimately, it’s not really about my fears as a fully capable and functioning adult of becoming too attached; my focus is on the needs of the child.

6. Does the child’s caseworker have the final say?

There are many people involved in a foster child’s case. There are judges, lawyers, supervisors, caseworkers, case aides, CASA volunteers, biological families, and foster families. There are also counselors, doctors, and many other individuals who have the best interest of the children at heart. The caseworker has a say, but there are different factors that play into the ultimate decision of a child’s placement.

7. How much are you paid? 

Foster families aren’t paid, but we are reimbursed. The money doesn’t go far, but it does help cover some of the child’s basic expenses. Also, foster children receive WIC and Soonercare.

8. Why is the child in foster care?

Neglect and abuse are the main two reasons that children enter the foster care system.

9. Do you need anything?

Yes! But unless you’re my absolute best friend, I would never ask you for anything. And even if you were my absolute best friend, I would still feel horrible asking you! Everyone can help. Of course, not everyone can foster. But everyone can do something. Offer to babysit, bring a meal, pass along your hand-me-downs, or even just offer some encouraging words. There are so many ways to support foster families.

10. What’s the story on the parents?

I get this question a ton, and I’m definitely not offended when people ask. If one of my friends randomly showed up with an extra child, I would want to know all the things. However, case specifics are confidential. Foster parents are limited about what we can share about our foster kids. Pretty much anything case-related or anything about biological parents is confidential.

What questions do you have about foster care?

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Britnie Sims
I grew up in sunny California and moved to Oklahoma to attend college. That is where I met my amazing husband, and now we are here to stay! I live in Blanchard with my husband and three kiddos. We also have two standard poodles who we all adore and consider a part of our family! My family likes to stay busy, and we are always on the go exploring Norman and OKC. I love to write, and I document my adventures on this crazy journey of motherhood on my personal blog!

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