Have you ever been in a situation where you knew too much? Maybe you’re stuck in the middle of a debate between two friends and you know too much about the situation. In that moment you might wish you were oblivious to what was actually going on. They say “knowledge is power”, but sometimes you just wish you didn’t have said knowledge.
I’ve been there. I started working in Labor and Delivery as a tech while going to college back in my hometown. It was the best job I have ever had, and the most stressful. I was the inquisitive tech who was always up for learning. Thankfully, I worked at a teaching hospital and was allowed to observe and help in various deliveries and procedures. If I didn’t know something, I asked. The field fascinates me and I delved in head first.
Fast forward 5 years when I found out I was expecting my first child. I was a nervous wreck to say the least and to top it off, the issues with my pregnancy were never ending. I had a leaking cyst in the beginning, a large Subchorionic Hemorrhage at 13 weeks, strict bed rest for months, a scare of Chorioamnionitis, low-lying placenta, contractions at 20 weeks, a terrible itch that may have been Cholestasis, and then to top it off high blood pressure which lead to my induction. To say my pregnancy was riddled with anxiety is an understatement.
If you have ever worked in the medical field, I am sure you have heard the term ‘nurse curse’. When I went in for contractions at 20 weeks, a nurse and I joked about how I, for sure, had the ‘nurse curse’.
And at that moment I knew, I knew too much.
Not only did I already have too much base knowledge in nursing, but I also had Dr. Google. The two combined were like a nightmare waiting to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for the knowledge I had (for the most part) as I feel I was able to advocate for myself. I was able to ask the hard questions and question the advice when needed.
And I know I am not the only one. We medical professionals have to go through life second guessing every piece of advice and every medical suggestion because we know too much. This not only affects our lives, it affects our children’s lives as well. They will forever be embarrassed by their mom who asks too many questions. The mom who questions the doctor not because she thinks she knows more but because that has been her job. To make sure she digs until she finds the right solution, whether it be for her patients or her family.
Throughout that pregnancy and my daughters first year of life, I have learned many things about how I use all the knowledge I have gained throughout my years in the medical field.
- I am not a hypochondriac like most would think. Imagine going around with all these facts floating around in your head and being told to basically suppress them because you are being a hypochondriac. It doesn’t work like that.
- I use the knowledge that I have to advocate for my own health and the health of my children.
- No amount of knowledge can override the fact that we still have a ‘mom gut’ for a reason. Listen to it, it usually doesn’t steer us wrong.
Even in the midst of working in Labor and Delivery, I wished I had had children before I had worked there. I knew the minute I found out I was going to become a mom, I would find myself in that place of knowing too much. But with a little twist I have learned to take my anxiety and turn in it into something constructive.