To the Friends Who had Kids Before I Did

To the Friends Who Had Kids

Dear friends who had kids before I did,

First off let me say kudos to you for being able to maintain friendships while raising kids. I remember when you announced that you were going to have your first kid. I was so excited for you. I loved hugging on your kids and watching them grow. Now that I have kids, I feel like there are a few things I should apologize for.

I’m sorry that I called you during naptime. At the time, it seemed like the perfect time to call and chat. I was certain that you wanted to hear about my latest date or my travels. I didn’t realize how sacred naptime was. I didn’t realize that it might be the first time during the day that you had to eat, drink, go to the bathroom or watch TV. You most likely didn’t want to talk to anyone at all. I’m sure it took all your restraint to not scream into the phone “I have to pee!!”

I’m sorry that I didn’t come over and watch your kids more. I was single and in my twenties and not tied down. I should have dropped by and told you to go get a cup of coffee with your husband or just go to Target and walk around. I figured you guys were always busy doing “family” stuff, but I should have dropped by to give you guys somewhat of a break and time to hang out with each other.

I’m sorry that I acted like I knew ANYTHING at all about raising kids. I remember telling you that it was okay to let your sweet one cry for a little bit before her nap. And while I think that it is okay, at the time, I just wanted to hang out with you and I had NO CLUE what I was talking about.

I’m sorry that I called at 8 pm to see if you guys wanted to go get dinner. Of course you didn’t want to go get dinner. You had your dinner at 5:30 and the kids were already in bed. 8:00 is not dinner time when you have kids and getting calls to go out at 8 pm is just a reminder of how exhausted you really are. While we’re on the subject, I’m sorry that we went to the least kid-friendly restaurant where you had to walk around holding the baby the whole time because we had waited so long for our food. I can tell you that you did eat but I’m sure you have no idea what it was that you ate since you had to eat so fast.

If you have a friend who doesn’t yet have kids, go easy on them. They have no idea what your life looks like on a daily basis. They really just want to feel connected with their friend and the smaller, cuter versions of their friend. One day they will have kids and will look back and think about what they could have done different for you. Try your hardest to maintain that friendship because when they enter the world of children they will need someone to tell them that it’s okay to ignore their buzzing phone and just go to the bathroom sometimes.

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