Second Child Syndrome: The Pregnancy Edition

Now that I’m well into the third tri-mester of my second pregnancy, I’ve had lots of time to reflect on how this gestational period has differed from my first. I’ve heard the phrase “second child syndrome” tossed around many times before and I must admit….it’s a real thing. In some ways I feel this second child has benefited from my wisdom….but maybe in other ways she’s gotten the shaft. Either way I’m sure she’ll turn out fine….right? I mean I’m a second child and I turned out fine….mostly. Just kidding, mom (see I can call her out because I know I’m the second child and she must feel guilt for all the ways I got the shaft so she’s DEFINITELY reading this.) Anyway let’s get on with the list.

1. What Baby Manual? With my first pregnancy, I had all the books. You know them. The fear-mongering “What to Expect…” series, the Dr. Sears encyclopedia, not to mention all the online sources and message boards. I read them all. This go round….not so much. Granted I feel I don’t exactly NEED that info since it’s not my first rodeo, but still it’s pretty funny that most weeks when someone asks how far along I am….I have no idea. I don’t know what size vegetable to compare my baby to and I don’t know if she’s got fingernails, or hair, or whatever else this week! I think despite my KNOWING what she’s got, she’s still developing her body parts just fine!

2. I Laugh at Your Birth Plan! I had a birth plan the first go round. A well thought out and typed up one page paper that I gave to the doctor weeks before delivery. We discussed it and I understood that things might not go according to my manuscript, but literally NOTHING went according to my “plan.” I have nothing against people who write them and I think it’s a smart decision for some. This time around, I’m having a lot more conversations with my doctor about my wishes and options, and since I’m having a c-section …my options are a little more limited. I do have wishes about getting to hold my daughter moments after delivery, which she is happy to allow if we’re both healthy, but she’s told me all I have to do is remind her right before surgery and that’s all it takes. I think overall the “plan” not going according to “plan” was more of a stressor to me and this time around I’m fine to release the burden of that stress on myself! (For others – not having a birth plan is a stressor, so I am not judging! Just sharing my experience.)

3. Give Me Drugs! Legal ones that is. My first pregnancy went without any drugs whatsoever until I had a major sinus infection in the last few months. I remember thinking I was going to kill my baby by having to take medication so I could be a functioning human being without a heating pad on my face while I moaned on the couch. This time around, although I still felt the guilt, I’ve not been hesitant to see a doctor for a sinus infection, or take some doctor-approved over the counter meds for heartburn or allergies or pain or stool softeners (a necessity at times, right?!)

4. Also Give Me Caffeine! I don’t recall a drop of caffeine crossing my lips during my first pregnancy. And while I was not a big soda or caffeine drinker before this second pregnancy, that has probably been my strongest craving this go round. I’m not gonna lie, I used to think people who took advantage of those discount Sonic drinks before 10am were insane. Who needs a vanilla Dr. Pepper at 8am, what’s wrong with them? Well I’ve eaten my words and become one of those people in the drive thru about 10 seconds after dropping my daughter off at school at 8:01 am. I still don’t think it’s the healthiest choice, and I hope the craving goes away after she’s born….or before I move on to harder caffeines like Coffee or Starbucks! Lord help me!

5. The Nursery is MIA I loved decorating and planning my first daughter’s room. I spent hours making handmade artwork and sewing and crafting and it was the perfect space! I’ve had so many people ask me what my colors are for this baby’s room and I feel a twinge of guilt when I reply…she doesn’t have a room. Let me explain….my brain is fried because we are building an addition onto our house that most likely wont be finished by the time baby arrives. Also my daughter wants to share a room with her sister and her room is already decorated so we’ll eventually set the crib up in there, BUT I honestly have no plans to do that until she has moved out of the bassinet in our room…which won’t even be arriving until my parents get here a few days before my c-section. So, no, this kid has no room, she doesn’t even have a bed and that’s ok because there is ROOM for her here even if there’s not “A ROOM” for her here!

6. Exercise: My Saving Grace I did not regularly exercise before I was pregnant with my first daughter. I did find prenatal yoga to be very beneficial during pregnancy, but it wan’t until she was about a year old that I finally decided I needed to do something about my slowing metabolism and found a cardio class at the gym I liked. For 4 years now I’ve been a regular attendee of that class and I was a little nervous that my growing size would prevent me from dancing with my gym friends each week. Thankfully, I have still been able to attend (although some of the moves are getting a little harder), but exercise is my saving grace each week, it puts me in a better mood and gives me a healthier energy than any Sonic drink can. I don’t care if anyone is laughing at the pregnant lady in class thinking that I should have a pass these 9 months to quit exercising! I know it makes me a happier and healthier person and that’s all that matters!

Those are the ways I found this second pregnancy to be different from the first. Some are healthier, some are not healthier, but I have confidence that my body has still been able to grow and develop this little girl despite myself! Now I can’t wait to see how long it is before I let her watch TV or give her sweets! Stay tuned for the “Second Child Syndrome: Baby Edition” I plan to write after she arrives!

How was your second or third or fourth pregnancy different from your first?