My last baby is entering the school world…
I have been dreading this for the past four years. My last child entered Pre-K this fall and my heart is breaking into two. He was absolutely ready for this transition and anxiously awaited the day he could also go to school like his big sisters. I, on the other hand, was NOT READY. I have to say goodbye to my baby.
Goodbye to this life I have known for eight years.
Goodbye to a house full of screaming kids.
Goodbye to my little sidekick.
Goodbye to the toddler days.
AND IT IS CRUSHING ME.
Change is the constant in all of our lives and I knew this day would come. I knew this was going to be hard but I never anticipated the amount of anxiety, fear, and sadness for our next chapter. Everything inside me is screaming for time to slow down and unfortunately for me…it’s not working.
He is going because it is time for him to go and this mama is going to have to swallow a gigantic pill of sorrow and just roll with the punches. Don’t get me wrong, I have taken every precaution with my sweet baby boy to make sure that I had every opportunity to be with him as much as possible. Both of my girls were in Mother’s Day Out twice a week since they were eighteen months old. When my oldest entered Pre-K, I had a serious mommy meltdown realizing I only had four solid years with my babies.
FOUR YEARS. THAT IS IT.
I decided right at that moment my little man would not be in any programs so I could selfishly soak up every waking second of his first four years.
Like most things in life, it is so easy to get caught up in the sadness and grief of losing something to not even realize all that we are gaining. I can’t help it though, I’m super sad.
Side note, if a mom informs you that this will be the first year all her kids are attending school, do not respond by asking her, ‘So, now what are you going to do?’
It is a sucker punch to the gut.
Believe me, I realize most people do not ask this question with any malice intent behind it, but that doesn’t make it sting any less. My days as a stay at home mom to three tiny humans is over, and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. That will be my answer. EVERY TIME.
Life is like a ticking clock and my time is done in this section of life until hopefully one day I will get to re-experience the toddler phase as a grandmother.
But for now, I really miss my little man sidekick.
How did your family transition once all kids were school age?
Did you have a difficult time with it like myself, or completely opposite?
