I have noticed a trend lately in some of the mom blogs I read, and I have to say I am a huge fan of this idea:
Planned payback for the toddler atrocities our children pull on the daily.
Hilarious. Genius. And… maybe a wee bit cruel.
My husband and I have actually flirted with this idea before, but never so much as to make an actual plan. We have always joked that we should have kept a sleep log documenting EVERY SINGLE freaking time one of our adorable little sweeties woke us in the night, and, in turn, use it on them when they are teenagers.
Our parenting fantasy goes a little like this…
We slowly creep into our sweet teenagers’ rooms. Both of us, holding hands of course, tip-toe across to where they are sleeping, blow a foghorn for a bit, read in unison off the sleep log what day/time this payback is for, say we love you, and quietly exit.
You could say this is a bonding moment for my husband and me… when we get to fantasize about all the wonderful and amazing payback that we have so rightfully earned. It gives us something to look forward to, and a much needed laugh.
We have never really delved deeper than the sleeping log until just recently…
But, here are a few of the ideas we have added to our payback plan as of late:
- I will stand next to my son’s bed and creepily stare at him until he wakes up, ask him for some milk, and while he goes to get my milk I will crawl in his bed and jack his spot. Then maybe pee a little.
- When my kids have friends over to watch a movie I will continually go in and beg for someone to come lay with me, and when they ask why I will reply, “BECAUSE, I’m really scared!”
- I will just follow them around from room-to-room talking. About nothing. No breaks for breathing, just talking.
- When they go out with their friends I will almost immediately call them to let them know that mom & dad are puking, so they should just get back home. Then when they get home and have purchased all the necessary sick supplies we had requested, we will just miraculously feel way better… so much so we are jumping on the bed.
- Whenever they are in a hurry I am going to make sure that my pants are way too itchy and I have to change them, and then my shoe feels wrong so I will need some different ones, and once we make it to the car I will need my drink that we left inside.
These are just a few of the many payback scenarios that have come to light in recent days around our house.
Whether we ever really put our payback plan into motion or not, I have really enjoyed just imagining it. I can definitely see how some might perceive this idea as cruel, but for our family it is all in good humor.
Parenting can be so difficult. Finding some funny always makes it a little easier.
What would be on your payback plan? Do you think it is cruel or hilarious?