No, My Kid Doesn’t NEED a Pet

When I would start dating someone, it was inevitable that people would ask, “When are you getting married?” 

Then, once I was married, people started asking, “When are you going to have a baby?” 

I logically expected the next question to be, “When are you going to have another?” 

Much to my surprise, that wasn’t the case! Once my daughter was born, people started asking when we would get her a pet!

http://gph.is/1EgdVcm

Are you kidding me? Did I miss something?!

I’m the girl who can kill bamboo and aloe vera plants just by looking at them and, now, my main job as a SAHM is to keep my tiny human alive (fed, watered, bathed, entertained, educated, etc) and let me tell you, it is a full-time job! Do you really think I want to add an animal to my list of things to keep alive? 

I’ve heard all the reasons why I should get her a dog/cat/(insert any other “nope” here), so let me tell you a few reasons why my kid doesn’t NEED a pet: 

1. I spend my entire day cleaning up after my rambunctious toddler, why would I also want to clean up after a dog/cat? 
2. Most days I’m all touched out by about 3:00 (lets be honest, some days even earlier than that), so do you really think I want an animal in my lap IN ADDITION TO MY CHILD?!
3. I already have teething toddler drool (and old crusty breastmilk puke, if I’m continuing to be honest) everywhere, I really don’t need dog slobber (or puke) on things too. 
4. Potty training a toddler and a pet at the same time? No thanks! 
5. I can only imagine how many times a day I would have to get my toddler out of the water and food dishes. On the bright side, she would inevitably ingest some dog/cat food, so it would probably be one less snack I would have to give her throughout the day. Dog food has several food groups in it, right? 
6. My daughter sleeps through the night so I sure as heck don’t want to be getting up to let an animal out to potty during the night or in the wee hours of the morning. 
7. I don’t need the extra hassle of arranging for pet sitters any time we want to go on vacation.
8. We already pay a ton in medical bills each year–why would I want to add vet bills on top of that?
9. I’ve seen enough articles about kids getting mauled by dogs to know it’s not worth the risk when it comes to my daughter. Before you get defensive, I’ve heard the arguments about these incidents being freak occurrences and it being all about how you raise the dog, but accidents happen. In fact, such an accident happened to me when I was little–a dog I was practically raised with bit my face, barely missing my eyeball!
10. Oh! You think a pet will teach her responsibility? How about she do something helpful like take out the trash or clean the toilets, instead? 

I could keep going forever, but I think you get the point. I know you love your pets, but they just aren’t for us. Maybe some day in the very distant future…but, I doubt it. So next time you want to ask when we will be getting our daughter a pet, please don’t.