Oh, Parenthood. It’s the most wonderful phase of life, right? Parenting a toddler has been nothing short of exciting. As we reflected on our last year, and dreamt about hopes of 2015 for our family, I couldn’t help but giggle thinking about what my daughter’s resolutions would look like. I imagine, something like this:
1. Add 2 feet to my vertical jumping skills.
This is going to take practice, and lots of it. Couches, beds, stairs, playground equipment, church pew, you name it – I need to work on jumping off of it. This is going to take real dedication, but with my mom’s constant yelling about it, I think I can succeed.
2. Spend more quality time with my parents between the hours of 12 AM – 5 AM.
I’m not sure what happens after the horrid hour routine my parents call “bedtime”, but I have a feeling I’m missing out on important bonding time. From what I understand, mom and dad won’t be around forever, so I really need to squeeze in all the extra cuddles and love that I can while I have the chance.
3. Expand my vocabulary.
As I grow, I’m learning so much. There are SO MANY words out there for me to learn. Some of my favorites are the ones that mommy and daddy immediately follow up with “we don’t repeat those words”. “No!”, “butt”, “shut up”, “that’s mine” and “I don’t want to” will be used much more frequently in 2015.
4. View the world as my canvas.
My mom is constantly telling me “we only color on paper” but I am pretty sure she’s missing out on life. Walls, cars, brother’s face – all look like my next masterpiece to me. How else am I going to become the next DaVinci?
5. Show my toys how much I love them.
This is really going to require only me spending time with them. I don’t think “sharing” with my brother and my friends is as great of an idea as I’m being told. I’m worried my toys are starting to think I don’t love them as much as I really do. Utilizing “that’s mine” and possibly employing a few bites, should help tremendously in this endeavor.
6. Focus on organic, clean, non-GMO foods.
You know, dirt. Boogers. And maybe ice cream. Yah, I think that’s all I’ll eat in 2015.
7. Visit the Emergency Room.
I am MOST excited about this one. This will be such an adventure! I’m not quite sure what I need to do to get there, but from what I can tell, it will likely be FUN.
8. Potty Train.
I think I’ll try the 3-day method. My mom has already purchased the “big girl panties” and they look like perfectly fine things to pee pee in. I intend to eat as many M&Ms (mommy’s idea of a reward) as possible during these three days. That ought to provide plenty of energy to practice my jumping. I resolve to do this every month.
9. Win an Oscar for best drama of the year.
There are so many opportunities to practice for this. The grocery store, church, the movies, the mall – all my stage to really show what I’ve got. I’m thinking top of my lungs screaming, crocodile tears and employing all the new words I learned from mommy and daddy.
10. Reclaim my rightful position as “the baby”.
My parents brought home a brother last year. I’m not sure what they were thinking here. But this goal is going to take some serious planning. I’m thinking along the lines of a major sleep regression, reminding them of our good ‘ol days. I’ll probably need to give up naps to be sure I am whiny and clingy all throughout the day. All of this hard work is for the greater good. I love brother, but my parents must be reminded that *I* am the baby.
What kind of shenanigans do you see YOUR toddler getting into this year?