Mom’s Learners Manual: The Chapter on Sleep

SLEEPWe had our first baby last summer and when they told us we could go home, I thought to myself, “Are you sure? You’re just going to let us go on our merry way without taking a test or anything?!” I feel like they should send you home with a Learner’s Manual. And the chapter that probably would’ve gotten the most wear-and-tear from us would’ve been the chapter on sleep. After nearly nine months of no sleep, this is what the chapter would’ve probably included for me:

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps.  OK, this is a given. But for someone that has a hard time leaving dirty dishes in the sink, I had to get over it and do just that: sleep when the baby sleeps. Which wasn’t/isn’t very much. But it’s a necessity.

2. Don’t shake the baby. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been to the point where I have to walk away. Multiple times a night. It’s exhausting. You rock, bounce, sway, nurse, everything in your power and the baby is finally asleep. You creep over to the crib and ninja-style get the baby in the crib without waking him/her. Then you tiptoe out of the room, hoping you don’t creak and pop on your way out, and then let out a huge sigh of relief when you’ve successfully exited the room with the baby still asleep.  For now.  You crawl back in bed and barely see the back of your eyelids before you hear it. The crying. Again. You want to cry with the baby, okay maybe I… er, I mean you do. That’s okay, just don’t shake the baby from exasperation.

3. Don’t punch anyone when they offer advice. Whether it’s “Oh my baby didn’t sleep until they were X months/years old” or “Just wait until they’re a teenager and you can’t get them out of bed,” – none of it is helpful. But keep telling yourself that they’re trying to sympathize with you. They mean well. So don’t punch them.

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4. Remember that you’ll miss this someday. Hard sometimes to think about when you’re rocking, bouncing, swaying, nursing and watching the sun come up. But then you look down at those soft lips. Those baby blue eyes. Those tiny fingers wrapped around yours. Then I… I mean you… start crying again because you realize this won’t last forever. And you know you will miss it.

5. Somehow, you actually can function on little sleep. People will tell you, “I don’t know how you do it,” and you won’t know either, but you just do. Because that’s what we moms do; we just keep going.

There are so many other things that the Chapter on Sleep would include, but my sleep-deprived brain is kind of fuzzy.  And my baby just feel asleep, so Zzzzzzz….

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Lindsay Hix
Lindsay was born and raised in the OKC Metro where she got her degree in Journalism from the University of Central Oklahoma. She met her husband, Steve, through a blind date set up by a mutual friend and after two years of marriage, welcomed their baby girl, Kinley in June of 2014. Lindsay works full-time at a local nonprofit organization where she enjoys the work she does every day but more than anything, enjoys coming home to flapping baby arms and a two-toothed grin.

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