Labor and Recovery: Yep, You’re Gonna Poop Yourself

Like a lot of pregnant women, I wondered if I would poop during labor.

Obviously, I realize there are much bigger concerns during labor, but it was a valid fear for me. I have never pooped (or even passed gas) in front of my husband, so I was terrified of having that happen in front of an audience. 

I’m happy to report that I did not poop during the delivery of my daughter; but, what kind of story would that be? While I didn’t poop DURING labor, I have an even more embarrassing story from my recovery. 

Warning: If you are squeamish about bodily fluids, go read one of our other amazing posts and divert your eyes from the following. 

My labor did not go according to my plan: I had an emergency induction due to preeclampsia, quite a bit of blood loss (with some sort of suppository to stop the bleeding), and a subsequent 24-hour magnesium drip while my daughter was whisked away to the NICU. 

I was passed out from my epidural, magnesium drip, and pure physical/emotional exhaustion when I felt it…that rumble in your stomach that means you better get to the bathroom in a hurry. Unfortunately, I was too exhausted to move and on strict bed rest because of the magnesium drip, so I did what any other person in that situation would do–I let out some gas and hoped that was the end of it. I immediately felt better and fell back to sleep.

Then it happened again…and again. This was about the time I realized there was something all over my legs and that my bed was wet. I immediately knew what had happened–that “gas” I passed, wasn’t gas. I looked around the room, in horror, to see my BROTHER sitting in the corner of the room playing on his phone. My mom had run down to the NICU to check on my husband and daughter, so he hadn’t left my side.

I was mortified! There was no way I could tell him what happened, so I patiently waited for my mom to come back (while sitting in a bed full of poop, mind you). Once she arrived, I asked her to have him run an errand, then immediately burst into tears and told her what had happened as we paged the nurse. 

Let me tell you, there is nothing more humiliating than having a team of nurses come in to change your sheets, give you a sponge bath, and sit you on a bedpan because you pooped yourself. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my brother walked back into the room while they were cleaning me.

Thankfully, like civilized adults, we never spoke of it again. 

I was so humiliated at the time, but now I can’t think of the story without laughing! If nothing else, my poopy recovery taught me a few things: 

  1. Don’t take life so seriously. Sometimes, all you can do is laugh–at yourself, at your husband, and even at your kids!
  2. From that moment on, I would never use the bathroom in peace again. 
  3. Like those nurses, wiping poop is just part of the [mom] job. 

Now it’s your turn to spill the beans–do you have an embarrassing story from Pregnancy/Labor/Delivery/Recovery?

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