Is the Grass Greener? A Working Mom’s Struggle

Hurry up guys or mommy will be late for work!

A phrase that is heard nearly every morning in my home.

The ironic thing is if I had a quarter for every time I said it, I wouldn’t have to work! The challenge of being a working mom can be overwhelming. The missed milestones make you second guess your choice to plunge headfirst into a 9 to 5. My youngest son took his first steps while I was away on a business trip and I cried for days. I “mom-shamed” myself – criticizing myself for being selfish enough to have a desire to work and be a mom and wife.

My little guys saying “bye” as I head off to work.

So, there I was at a crossroads – do I stay home with a student loan debt that’s not for the faint at heart, or do I “make it work” and try my best to kill the work/mommy/wife game? I chose the latter and I am glad I did. It may not be a popular statement, but I enjoy working outside of the home. I want to be an example to my boys that females can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. But when the work world and the mommy world collide, I plunge into the Working Mom Guilt abyss.

Working Mom Guilt is a bad mutha (shut yo mouth!). It will make you switch from bringing plates to the Winter Party to individual carriage rides around Bricktown with real reindeer for the entire class. As working mommas, we have to fight the urge to make up for missed time with “stuff”. We have to have a real talk moment with our kids to let them know that mommy can’t always come to the field trips and special activities at school, but our love for them is as strong as ever.

Don’t get me wrong – I am low-key jealous of SAHMs.

The jealousy rears its ugly head at odd moments, like when I am at the grocery store after work with EVERY OTHER HUMAN ON THE PLANET. As I stand in the 15 items or less line behind 5 people who apparently think that number is an estimate, I think about how much easier it would be to whisk through the aisles at 10 in the morning. As I sit at my desk reviewing yet another contract, I often daydream about what my life would be like as a SAHM.

(Cue dream sequence music)

I would wake up at 6 to make a full breakfast for my family, drive my kids to school and then attend an amazing workout class. (SIDE NOTE: In my dream, SAHM Alicia is 30 pounds lighter and training for American Ninja Warrior). I would then go to the grocery store, fold three loads of laundry, make two DIY projects I saw on HGTV, start dinner, and pick up my kids from school.

Now, I know this is not AT ALL what it is like to be a SAHM.

It’s a 24/7 job that is just as rewarding as it is exhausting. What I also know is that whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, we are doing what we feel is best for our family. It may look different for every family, but what we do, whether it is working outside of the home, or staying home with our children, we do it because of the unsurpassed love we have for our families. So, chin up working moms, you nailed it!

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Alicia Currin-Moore
Alicia Currin-Moore is a wife, mother, and a Director with The University of Oklahoma College of Law who lives in OKC with her husband, Cedric and their two kids, Mason and Myles. Alicia has spent 23 years in education and has worked in nearly every aspect of public education. She can't wait to kick off her stilettos and trade in her briefcase for tennis shoes and a duffle bag to chauffeur her boys to their many events. Alicia loves dates with her hubby, gardening, spending time with her family, and all things OU.

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