Several years ago I had the opportunity to work for a sweet friend from church. She was a doctor who worked crazy hours and by the end of her day she was ready to just enjoy her family and go to bed. So she hired me to clean the house, organize, and run errands. In describing her expectations to me she declared, “I need a wife”. A wife. YES. That’s what we moms need, isn’t it? Even those of us who stay home. We need wives too.
I’ve had a taste here and there of life with a wife, and it is FANTASTIC. I have a sister-in-law who, I swear, can read my mind. I leave her with the kids for a few hours and not only has she fed them and put them to bed, she has cleaned up the mess from dinner, started the dishwasher, and folded the laundry in the chair from a week ago. It’s like coming home to a completed to-do list. And I never even voiced a word of it!
Now, husbands are great, don’t get me wrong. They are handy and strong, they balance out our crazy, and they are easy on the eyes. But there’s a little joke that comes to mind that sums up our problem perfectly: “Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There’s no need to remind him every six months!” We women are efficient, we are immediate, and we are tying up lose ends constantly.
We can’t expect husbands to think like a wife would, they just aren’t wired that way. And truly we wouldn’t want just a wife, because then we wouldn’t be able to put the Christmas tree back in the attic. Or hang curtains. And we would get bored with the toilet paper always being refilled and placed nicely back on the holder.. So both. We need both, I declare!
Admit it. You agree- life with a wife would be LEGIT. You wouldn’t repeat yourself because you wouldn’t have to even voice a request in the first place—she would just know. Because wives just know what needs to be done and they do it. PERK. And a wife wouldn’t ask “what’s wrong?” They would know exactly why you were upset. And you would rant together for twice as long as one of you could. PERK. What would it be like to take a real “sick day” and still have things run smoothly? PERK. Gifts for holidays—on point. Every. Time. PERK.
Guys, I think we are on to something here. We have identified the problem and the solution. So if anyone can find a way to execute this plan without it getting hostile or weird or illegal let me know ASAP. Because, gosh dangit, I NEED A WIFE.
Ugh, this is terrible. MANY men are great parents, are responsible, work hard, and do lots of work around the house. Imagine if I wrote a blog post about how I needed a “husband” who would go to work and make money, because. you know “men are better at that.” Because when it comes to finances and earning “we get it.”
Your blog post supports the stereotype that men are “bumbling children” around the house who have to be nagged. If that’s the case, are women “baby makers who are best in the kitchen?”
This post is offensive to any man who does many things for his family.
Hi Dan!
You know, oftentimes stereotypes are the cornerstones of comedy. If you read this post thinking it was rant-y and serious you may want to go back and reread it with your humor-glasses on. Here are the facts, women think differently and have an intuition for other women’s needs that men simply don’t have. I find it extremely helpful to have someone around whose thought process is the same as mine. However, this does not mean I don’t appreciate my “hard-working”, “great parent”, “does many things around the house”, “responsible” husband, who actually found this post really funny despite the “many things he does for his family.”
Hi Ann,
Appreciate you responding.
We disagree here. There was a movement to try to level the playing field for women in out society, and rightfully so. But the playing field has never been leveled for men in the family and household. Too often in popular culture husbands/dads are portrayed as “being out of touch” and as “clueless buffoons” who are basically another child in the home.
Your article actually mentions that wives (women by extension) just “know what needs to be done and do it.” Well, that’s a generalization that furthers a stereotype. Many men know what needs to be done and get it done, in and out of the home. Maybe not in your relationship, but that might require you having a conversation with your partner. That’s your business.
Cementing stereotypes of women as “best suited” for housework and parenting roles is a curious argument to make in 2016. But I don’t want to pick on you, you’re not alone. Popular culture shows men as absent, at work, golfing, barely understanding their kids, bumbling in the home. If we portray women as confused and clueless in the workplace, or incapable of making business decisions “because their brains work different” and men are “more capable of being in the office because they GET IT” isn’t that sexist? I guarantee that if I even hinted at those views in the professional world I’d probably be slapped with a lawsuit.
Your blog post helps stir this conversation, so that’s a positive. I hope you can try to see my POV and imagine if roles were reversed and I wrote an article (even whimsically) implying that men are just better suited for working in the office or for leadership roles, for example.
Thanks for letting me air my opinion.
This clearly was a humorous piece, and I don’t feel like she once insinuated that all men are “bumbling children”. She simply implied that it would be nice to have an extra hand to help juggle all of the responsibilities that we moms have. I, for one, could definitely relate to that!
Oh this is hilarious. I think every mother has at one point thought to themselves that having a second wife around would just be easier. We aren’t trying to belittle the huge and great things our husbands do on a daily basis, the reality is men and women just think things through differently, which is great. Loved this post!
Thanks Paige, another idea would be to clone ourselves. Let me know how you feel about that one.
Oh, I forgot one thing I wanted to mention. I am wondering where all the women are like you (who know what to do in the household, are organized etc.), because since I was divorced almost every woman I’ve dated has been a slob. They don’t have any idea how to keep their home organized, clean. That defies the notion you put forth in your article. There are many men who don’t want to (or know how to) do laundry, but there are apparently many women who can’t bother to keep their cupboards filled with food or wash their tub. Or maybe I just happen to be meeting them all!