I hear it all the time. “Oh your husband is military? I could never do that.”
I’ve been called strong, a hero, and a super hero. I’ve been told I have the most difficult job in the military. Guys, I’m flattered, really I am… but none of that is true.
I’m just a girl who fell in love with a boy and we got married and had babies and he just happens to have an unusual job. I promise, his job is more difficult than mine. I wear PJs most of the time and run around after crazy (but adorable!) babies. He sees people die, saves lives, and flies a helicopter (which is basically a flying rock). If anyone here is the hero, it’s him. Yeah, I deal with difficult stuff like parenting alone for long periods of time and selling a house by myself, but single parents do that stuff all the time. He may not be here physically but I’m lucky to have his support in every sense of the word and we love each other very much.
I’m here to tell you, you can handle more than you think you can.
I have friends who have lost their spouse or child too early and friends with children with special needs that deal with tough stuff all the time. These people ARE as strong as everyone tells them they are. They are courageous and wonderful, but what parent wouldn’t be? You can’t just lay down and quit life. There’s no running away; there are no time machines to change the situation.
When the going gets tough, the tough find some friends and family to help them out. You never have to be strong alone, no matter what the situation. I don’t do this alone. I have friends and family that have brought me food to fill my freezer and cleaned my house. They’ve watched my daughter for me and watched movies with me. They have done so much more and its impossible to thank them enough.
Being an Army wife is not that difficult, relatively. Mostly, it is very lonely and you have to be able to let go of control because the Army makes many life decisions for your family. I never planned to be an Army wife… I actually refused to go on a date with him originally because of his job. I can promise you that five years ago I did not picture my life this way. In fact, one year ago I had no idea he would be on a second deployment or that we would have two kids instead of one or that we would be preparing to move across the country. But you know what? My life is great. My husband is better than I could have asked for, and my children are beautiful and healthy. It comes with difficult and unexpected situations – but when is life predictable? No one plans for difficult situations in their life, because there are so many things that can happen. If you planned for one, the chances are something completely unexpected and different would happen.
As the old saying goes; when life hands you lemons, you break out the tequila, call your friends and make it a party…or something like that. I encourage you to take life by the horns. Don’t shy away from things that might be hard or scary because you don’t think you are strong enough to handle it. You are in control of how strong you decide to be. Sure you could become the bird lady from Home Alone 2…but you would miss out on a lot. A lot of love, life lessons, and new experiences. One bad or difficult situation does not make a bad life. If you avoided everything that might be difficult, you would be catatonic and stuck in a bed. Hard times happen. It’s just a fact of life.
Our case is one of the least difficult things that can happen. So we thank God it’s not worse than it is (because it always could be) and we roll with it. We make new plans. We learn new ways of coping and we adjust. You can handle anything you decide to handle. I am not stronger than you, I just have a different situation to deal with. If I am strong, facing my situation head on made me that way.
