How I Became a Mom {Maria}

weddingMy husband, Matt, and I got married in the summer of 2006 while we were still in college. In fact, I had only been 20 for a few weeks before we tied the knot. Looking back, we were so young! As my college education was nearing an end, my parents told us that to celebrate, they’d love to take us to Hawaii. OKAY! We were so excited! I graduated in December 2007, but we had to wait another six months before the trip. During those six months, we both worked and just enjoyed life together. I don’t even remember talking about having a baby. We knew that one day we’d love a family, but it wasn’t quite on our radar yet.

As the trip was approaching, I suddenly realized that I’d be on my period during the trip. How awful that sounded. And… to be completely honest… I was scared to death to swim in the ocean while on my period. All I could think about were sharks. How embarrassing is that to admit?! So, prior to our trip, I decided to take matters into my own hands and try to “fix” my period schedule. My husband knew about it and we even talked about the off chance of getting pregnant during those couple of months, but we had heard the chances of getting pregnant immediately were small. So, we didn’t worry and kept on living life.

Vacation time came and it was so much fun… except I was exhausted all the time. And I remember getting so mad at my mom because she kept asking me if I was pregnant. I told her I was definitely NOT pregnant.

We returned home from our amazing tropical getaway and I realized that maybe I should take a pregnancy test. After all, I thought my “new” period schedule should have started the last day or so of our trip. That night we discovered we were pregnant. I was terrified and thrilled all at the same time. I will never forget that feeling! The next morning was a Monday…. and it was my first day at a NEW JOB! Eeek!

Fast forward through the pregnancy. It was a normal pregnancy as far as they go. I was sick during the first trimester, gained a ton of weight, had cravings for Mexican food, roast, and v8 juice, and was so excited to get a nursery decorated and ready for our little girl. But, at the end of my 34th week of pregnancy, Matt was traveling out of town and I started bleeding. Nothing crazy, but enough to scare me and send me to the hospital just to make sure that things were okay. My dear friend, Joni, met me there and kept me company as we learned that it was just my mucus plug. Let me just admit that I had no idea what a mucus plug was at that point! The hospital sent me home to be on modified bed rest, and Joni graciously stayed with me for the rest of the weekend until Matt got back home.

He returned during the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday, so we grabbed some buffalo wings and cozied up on the sofa to watch the game. Halfway through the game, I was sooo uncomfortable that I decided to go relax in the bathtub. While I was trying to soak away my aches and pains, my water broke. I remember crawling out of the tub and calling for Matt. He thought I was playing a joke on him since the football game was still on. We rush to the ER (since it was a Sunday night) and finally get into triage to get checked out. (By this point, we’ve missed the end of the Super Bowl. Sorry Matt!) After what seems like forever, they decide to check to see if my water really did break…and it had! I could tell that the nurse was surprised since I was only 35 weeks, but we were sent straight up to labor and delivery to meet our little girl.

I honestly don’t remember hurting badly. My contractions were bearable, but since I’m a weenie when it comes to pain, I didn’t wait to get my epidural. As soon as the anesthesiologist was available, I said bring it on. After that, Matt and I peacefully slept for nearly four hours. Around 4 AM, my body woke me up and not long after, the nurse came in to check on me after seeing my vitals from her nursing station. She checked me out and it was time to get my doctor there ASAP. I woke Matt up and we were both in a state of shock at how many people came into our delivery room. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous about exposing myself to an entire room full of strangers. I didn’t even have any fears that our 35 week old baby would have any troubles. It was such a calm experience looking back. My doctor arrived and after a couple of pushes, Ella entered the world weighing in at 6 lbs, 9 oz! We were beyond excited to meet her and see that she was perfectly fine. Pediatrics did take her away to the NICU for a very short amount of time, but she checked out completely healthy. What a blessing!

EllaPregnancyBirth

Two years later, we got pregnant again with another girl and this time I took progesterone shots for 20 weeks to help prevent preterm labor, and got a steroid shot to help our daughter’s lung development. She was born at 38 weeks, weighing in at 8 lbs, 11 oz,  but this time birth was a whole lot scarier. After another eight hour delivery with a few pushes, she got stuck in the birth canal and had the cord wrapped around her neck. The fear that went through me as I saw how blue she was still makes me sick to my stomach. The nurses rushed her off to the other side of the room and I kept asking why she wasn’t crying. Nobody said a word. Thankfully she recovered quickly and was just fine!

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Two years later, we got pregnant again. But, at our first OB appointment, we discovered that the baby wasn’t as big as it should be (according to my last period). We did hear a heartbeat so that was comforting, but my doctor scheduled me to come back a week later to check on the baby. The next week was devastating. The baby had grown more since the ultrasound the week before, but had since passed away. I remember getting excited when I could tell the baby was bigger, but my heart was crushed when I realized the heartbeat was gone. I’m not sure how I had so many tears because they wouldn’t stop flowing down my cheeks. That experience has changed me. It has made me stronger. It has made me more grateful. It has made me realize that life isn’t perfect. Seeing others announce their pregnancy was hard. Watching the due date pass on the calendar was hard, thinking about if that was our only chance at having a little boy was hard…. but I know that God is in control of all things. That gives me hope.

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I am now nine months pregnant with our third little girl. She will be joining our family very very soon and we are all thrilled. I’m thankful for this chance at another pregnancy. To feel a baby move inside of me. What a special feeling! Now that the end of this pregnancy is near, I’m getting more scared than I ever have been at the end of my other pregnancies. The loss of our third baby is definitely part of that fear, as is the scare from our second daughter’s birth. Daily I try to stay calm, stay relaxed, and know that it is okay…. because soon I will get to hold and love on this precious little girl!

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Maria Clark
Maria is a Kansas native who fell in love with an Oklahoma boy and is here to stay – but she is okay with that! She calls Stillwater home and has three spunky but totally sweet girls who keep her unbelievably busy. Maria has a background in event planning and gets fulfillment out of hosting friends in their home. She also loves all things organization.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Love your birth story – I too was also a young bean getting married and then getting pregnant! Wouldn’t change it for anything though!

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