It’s inevitable. After your first child hits the toddler years, you will be inundated with, “Soooo, when are you having another?!”
Lady in the Target checkout, as much as it charms me that you think I am suited to raise another tiny human, I have no idea if I want to embark on that journey again.
Is One Enough?
I’ve asked myself this question a thousand times. It crosses my mind every time my son plays sweetly with another kid or wants to hold and love on a friend’s baby…and I think, “man, should we do this again?”
But, let’s face it, it’s not simply hitting the “repeat” button. There’s a BIG difference between your first pregnancy, and each one after…and that BIG difference is the child you already have.
Yes, women do this all the time, but am I suitable for this? Maybe I’m done after one?
Losing “ME” Time
I will be 100% honest with you all, I am a selfish person. I love and NEED my “me” time. And, I need to have space outside from motherhood. I know by adding a fourth member to this family, the little time I once had for myself will now be put towards taking care of the new baby. As a wife, mother, and CEO of my company, my brain is telling me that it is not the right time, and maybe the “right” time is…well, never.
Losing the Sibling Experience
I know and understand the possible benefits of my son having a sibling. He will have a forever playmate, companion, someone to share his upbringing with. But there really is no guarantee they will be close, or have the type of relationship I would want them to have. And for my family…is it worth the sacrifices and struggles? Is it truly more beneficial for my son to have a sibling at the cost of the chaos another child will bring?
Kids are EXPENSIVE!
Diapers, formula, clothes, medical bills, sports, toys, electronics, insurance, college…stop me anytime! Many of us fret and worry about these expenses at night, playing on our phone, trying to think of some side-hustle to bring in some more income. Maybe I would rather put that money towards more experiences with my son, towards travel, vacations, his college?
I’m Still Not Sure…
I, invariably, go back and forth. Wishing there was some online, multiple choice quiz that will tell me if and when we’re ready for another.
As someone who is notorious for spreading herself too thin, my hesitation for having another child is something I truly feel I need to listen to. Every family is different, only we know our family dynamic and what we can handle…and right now, that’s just one.