It is 4:38 am. I am lying awake in bed 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, and yes the 1/2 matters immensely at this point. For several nights in a row now I cannot go back to sleep after my 103rd trip to the bathroom to pee. So inevitably I have started going through my mental mom to-do list.
With two kids who just started school and another on the way I thought I would feel overwhelmed. Surprisingly I discover I am not in bad shape as far as my ongoing mom list goes. While tossing and turning I wonder why I do not feel more stressed at this point because the upcoming newborn stage with two small kids is likely going to be hard.
There are some things I KNOW I am not even going to bother with this time around. Perhaps that is making me more at ease. After another sleepless third trimester night here are three things I have decided for certain I am NOT going to do with baby number three.
1. I am not going to have ALL the things.
We still have most of the baby staples from the first two kiddos. Now our first two kiddos have all accumulated their own things. Not only do we not have room for every single baby item, it is not needed. Babies switch wardrobes and phases every three months. I have decided I am going with strictly the basics this time. This equates to less mess, less to keep track of, less organizing. I am liking the sound of less.
2. I am not going to beat myself up.
For example, my first baby breastfed for a year and my second for six months. With my second I just could not produce any longer no matter what I tried. I felt like a failure. I felt guilty because I could not give to each sibling equally.
But do you know what I realize now? I was doing the best I could, and there is nothing wrong with that. I know I have the best intentions for my children every minute of the day. So I am going to lighten up on myself.
3. I am not going to forget.
Or at least I’m going to try not to forget. When I look back at pictures of my first two during the newborn stage I barely remember any of it. I think I must have been operating in straight up survival mode. Instead of just making it through in a haze I would like to breathe in the time with my baby more than I have before.
These are the things I know for certain I will not be doing. Was there anything you changed after your first (plus) time around? What was it?