City Facebook groups: Keeping the drama alive since the beginning of Facebook time.
I live in a pretty small town, and our local Facebook group keeps me truly, madly entertained.
If I’m bored or having a rough day and need a little dose of hilarity, my town’s Facebook page is the perfect pick me up. This local resource is the best place to get the scoop on all of the local tea.
And I’m rarely disappointed by what I find.
Bored with your life and in the mood for some backstabbing and drama? Look no further.
Honestly, the Bravo Channel can’t dish up as much juicy drama as my local city Facebook group can. Vanderpump Rules, puh-lease. I’m logging on to my town’s Facebook page.
If you are a part of a neighborhood or city Facebook group, then you already know first-hand the insanity that I’m talking about.
So get your popcorn ready, Michael Jackson, here are ten things you’ll find on your local Facebook group:
1. Dogs
Found dogs. Lost dogs. Barking dogs. Dogs who pooped in someone’s yard. So many freaking dog posts.
2. The person who feels personally victimized by EVERYTHING.
New fast food restaurant coming to town. Personally victimized. Someone accidentally went out of turn at a four-way stop. Personally victimized. Dollar General looking dirty? Personally victimized.
3. Fundraising opportunities.
Want to support your second cousin’s daughter’s best friend’s softball team? Check the city Facebook group to find out exactly where you can pick up the poorly packaged and questionably sanitary baked goods.
4. Public shaming driving posts.
People are not afraid to post actual pictures of people’s cars and license plates because “they drive like a scumbag and pulled out in front of me and went slow. Rude.” Also, don’t ever park crooked in front of the local grocery store. You will be called out. And possibly thrown out of the town as people run after you with pitchforks.
5. The overly concerned busy body.
There’s an unfamiliar car driving down a neighborhood road. Or, heaven forbid “seedy looking kids” selling cookies door-to-door. But they’ve got it covered. They’ve posted a picture AND they’ve notified the local authorities. Thanks, Carol, for doing your due diligence and protecting us all from cookie-selling children, as the self-proclaimed neighborhood watch.
6. The speed patrol.
This person wants to make sure that everybody knows the local speed limit on ALL of the roads. And how dare you only go 67 in a 65. So reckless, you left lane impeder. Get off the road.
7. The utility posts.
Anyone lose power? Who’s water bill went up? And most importantly why the heck ISN’T MY INTERNET WORKING!?
8. The aggressive over-poster.
This person has something rude to say on everything someone else posts. You see them comment and you immediately know a storm’s a-brewin’. You know exactly the kind of storm I’m talking about. (?) Half the neighborhood has this person blocked. You might not know them in real life, but their name and their Facebook profile picture stirs up unpleasant emotions and hate in your heart. They make you wonder what they’re like in real life, because their online persona scares you.
9. The unnecessary political arguments.
These posts can start innocently enough, but then one comment brings all the feelings to the yard. Pretty soon we have ourselves a full-on online politically fueled bar fight. Hold my beer while I casually mention who to vote for in the upcoming local election. These people have opinions and you WILL hear them.
10. Repetitive posts.
Posts about the same dang thing someone just asked. ” Anyone know who has the best lawn service?” Two posts down, “XYZ has the most amazing Lawn Service in town!” These posters apparently have a fear of using the group search bar to read info on topics like when big trash day is, or when the splash pads open… And then they proceeded to post “I know it’s already been asked, but I don’t want to look it up, when is blah blah blah?”
What have you noticed on YOUR local Facebook group?
