You’re Not Alone: Women and Depression

depression

I had been feeling melancholy, a little “blah”, worn out and often indifferent.  Most nights I found myself staying home, curled up watching Netflix by myself.  I  told a friend of mine that checks on me every once in awhile that I was going through a “season of rest.”

And I really thought I meant it.

And then the occasional crying spells began. Sometimes for no reason, other than I felt sad. Mostly in the mornings. I remember crying one morning before work and I could not stop. I thought, “This is ridiculous. You are a grown woman. You are THE BOSS. You’ve got to get it together and go to work.”

Another day while at work, I was overcome with sadness and feelings of hopelessness.  I thought, “if the right person asks me how I’m doing today, I’m going to lose it.”  And she did.  And I did.  Another round of sobbing came out of me as she patiently listened.

I felt a little numb or just the opposite: my feelings were overpowering.  My mind was fuzzy more often then usual or it was racing through thoughts faster than I could process them.  I would have heart palpitations for no real medical reason, where it literally felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my chest.

What had happened to me?  Maybe I had been trying to be too many things for too many people for too long.  Maybe my hormones went wonky.  Maybe “life fatigue” was catching up with me.  Maybe all the highs and lows I’d experienced over the last few years decided to merge together and create an emotional & biological emergency.  All I knew was that this could not go on much longer.  I made an appointment with a counselor and then with my primary care physician.  I sat in my doctor’s office and finally said the words out loud, “I think I’m dealing with depression and anxiety.”

Both my counselor and my doctor helped me understand that my body was on high adrenaline alert almost non-stop and I was burning through adrenaline and cortisol like crazy.  Instead of saving adrenaline for times that were frightening or stressful, my body was using it in truckloads daily.  As a result of my adrenal glands being overused, my serotonin levels (a neurotransmitter in the nervous system) were also low.  This led to me beginning an anti-depressant medication that actually helped my serotonin increase and also helped my brain communicate better (an SSRI-Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor).

This was the beginning of my journey of healing.  I continued to meet with my counselor and doctor, had support from my family and friends, and have come a long way from that moment in my doctor’s office.  I’m in a much better place, but it took some work.  I don’t worry as much what other people want from me, I say no to more things, and have learned the value of self-care.

Unfortunately,  I also learned that depression is not that uncommon.

Take a look at these statistics*   that likely apply to both you and me:

gender stats

baby blues copy

 

State Stats copy

I share my story and these statistics with you, not to be a messenger of darkness, but to let you know that if you are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety, you are not alone. 

And, beautiful one, I’m here to say that light can be found again.

If anything in this post seems to ring true for you, PLEASE tell someone-a friend, a family member, a doctor, a counselor, a staff member at your church, your husband, your mom, your sister or another human being that cares about you.

And PLEASE get a professional involved (i.e. counselor, primary care physician, psychiatrist, etc.) to aid in your healing.

You may need help during this particular part of your journey, but you are not alone.

 

*Statistics used in this post can be found here on healthline.com.

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Melissa Brown
I have been a proud Okie for over 35 years and love being the wife of my hunky husband, David, and a mom to our three daughters, two in their 20’s and one in elementary school! I spend my weekdays in the Greater Oklahoma community as a non-profit executive and my evenings as a soccer mom, grocery shopper, overall family supporter/organizer, adventurer, book enthusiast, friend, and occasional Netflix binger. My first two loves are Jesus and family, with coffee and caramel also making the list, right after friends and travel, and being a part of OKCMB.

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