I Suck At Elf On The Shelf

I love the Christmas season.  I love the cold weather, shiny paper, presents, and watching Christmas movies.  I can’t get enough of the family time and the pure joy that the Christmas season brings.

However, there is one Christmas trend that I can’t seem to get my act together enough to get on board with and that is Elf on the Shelf, my friends.

I see my mom friends on Facebook doing their Elf on the Shelf thing every morning, and they are rocking it! I’m pretty sure they win the “Coolest Mom of the Year” award.  Actually, I’m pretty sure they win Christmas in general.

I so want to be an Elf on the Shelf mom.  But I just can’t. 

There are many reasons why I can’t muster up the strength to fully commit to Elf on the Shelf, but the first reason is the remembering.  There is just oh so much remembering.  I can hardly remember to change the clothes from the washer to the dryer, let alone create fresh and exciting Elf antics every night.

I did manage to give Elf on the Shelf one feeble attempt last year which ended horribly due to the whole remembering factor.  I had pinned all of the fun elf ideas, and I had mapped out my plan of action. I had about a week of Elf on the Shelf creative genius.  Each night I patted myself on the back for getting my Elf on the Shelf groove on.  Our elf, named Elfie (how original), took marshmallow bubble baths, had a toilet paper fight with Barbie, you know, the usual.  However, one night after an exhausting day we all tucked into bed, and I FORGOT.

The next morning  my kids went about their business eating breakfast and such, until one of my kids nonchalantly asked, “Hey Mom, where’s Elfie?”  The panic immediately set in.  “Ummmmm. I don’t know kids, go check in your rooms,” I replied.  While my kids had their backs turned I tossed Elfie up into our chandelier above the dining room table, and that’s where he lived until Christmas.  He was cozy there.

I’ll admit it. I suck at Elf on the Shelf. 

However, my kids didn’t seem to mind my suckage or Elfie’s lazy chandelier days, as they weren’t overly impressed or excited about Elf on the Shelf either.  Maybe their lack of excitement was because of my half way of doing things, or maybe they just don’t care for elves.  We’ll never know.

Anyway, the second reason I can’t commit to Elf on the Shelf is because I always seem to be in a time crunch.  I’m always a day late and a dollar short in the time department.  Raising 3 kids has left me always needing more time.  Some days I am running around in a blur trying to find more time to practice reading, more time for soccer practices, and more time for the obligatory playdates.  In fact, I can hardly find the time to drag down our fully decorated Christmas tree from the attic that we shoved up there Grinch style last year.  If I have a couple of free minutes I sure as heck won’t be creating messes for myself to clean up.

Which brings me to my third and final reason.  THE MESSES.  I cringe when I see the sticky or extreme messes left behind by those elf menaces because I know exactly who is cleaning them up.   I already spend approximately 60 percent of my day cleaning, 20 percent telling my kids to pick up their toys, and 5 percent of my day is spent thinking about what needs to be cleaned next.  The last 15 percent of my day is spent on fun things like crafts with the kids, Netflix, online shopping, caffeine, playing, couch sitting, and time with the hubs.  Elf on the Shelf cuts into my 15 percent, y’all.  Ain’t nobody got time for those extra messes.

This year our house remains elf free.  If my kids really loved it, I would give it another attempt but they are also not impressed with elf antics (If it had involved screen time or candy I’m sure they would’ve been down). However, if you are an awesome Elf on the Shelf mama, please keep posting your daily pictures so I can live vicariously through you.  I so want to be an Elf on the Shelf mom.