When I was little, if I heard an unfamiliar noise in the house during the night, it was nearly impossible for me to fall back asleep. My mind would run wild, imagining the most ridiculous of scenarios and inducing an anxiety-filled, sleepless night.
At some point, I grew out of that – thanks mainly to my mom. Bless her heart, she would wake up at any hour of the night, walk around the house with me and help me identify what had made the unfamiliar noise. The next time it happened, I wasn’t scared because I knew where it’d come from.
For me, familiarity equals comfort. I like being prepared and I like knowing everything I’m supposed to know about a situation. Being unprepared or unfamiliar makes me anxious. So, when that little blue and white stick undeniably read “pregnant” back in January, I went into full out preparation mode, but also anxiety mode.
There is just SO MUCH you don’t know as a first-time mom and there’s an overwhelming amount of information available thanks to the internet.
Was my face wash toxic for the baby? I spent a solid hour in Walmart reading the labels on products before leaving empty-handed, convinced that nothing was good enough.
What foods were safe for baby? Y’all, I love all sorts of cheese. And, let me tell you, when I was casually reading one day about how pregnant women should avoid “soft cheeses,” it took a divine intervention to get me to calm down and accept that I hadn’t eaten something in the previous weeks that had harmed my baby or done something any good, far-more-prepared, pregnant woman would have NEVER done.
Oh, and let’s not forget about Zika. If worrying about things I could easily control wasn’t enough, I worried about this despicable, tiny insect every time I stepped outside. Every single bump I found on my skin, my sweet husband (“Huz” as I call him) inspected. Every freckle (disclaimer: I’m COVERED in them) that I hadn’t noticed before was suddenly a potential contender for a mosquito bite. Then I’d start thinking, “What does a mosquito bite look like? Do they always itch? What if I don’t know?” For the majority of the summer, that tiny insect ruled my life.
The point is that being pregnant for the first time is beautiful, amazing, exciting, and downright scary for some of us. Those three things I mentioned don’t even begin to touch the list of things I was paranoid about. Fortunately, there are a few things that helped me through my moments of anxiety and fear.
First and foremost, stay off the Internet. While you may find someone else experiencing the same thing you are, you’re FAR more likely to go down a black hole of perplexing pregnancy experiences that are in no way related to what you’re going through. So, do yourself a favor and just forget that’s an option.
Call your nurse. Call your nurse. Call your nurse. I was blessed with one of the most kind-hearted, patient nurses on the planet during my pregnancy, and thank goodness for her. I called her about anything and everything that seemed out of the ordinary. Not that you’ll know what “ordinary” is your first go round, but if you’re concerned, just call. Most of the time, it’s all normal, and if it isn’t, they’ll check it out for you. Ask as many questions as you need to so you don’t sit at home coming up with ridiculous answers on your own.
Talk to your partner and friends. My husband was my sounding board for a lot of conversations that started with me saying, “I know this sounds crazy, but…” He would talk to me, pray with me and help me think rationally about what I was obsessing over. If I still didn’t feel better, he would remind me of my other logical options like calling my nurse or a friend who’d recently been pregnant. Allowing him to help me was good for our relationship, helped me calm my crazy, and reminded me I wasn’t alone.
Lastly – and this is SUPER obvious – remember, you are NOT the first woman to be pregnant. Duh, right? Your fears or anxieties are probably shared with more moms than you realize. So, hang in there first-timers! Don’t let your anxiety cloud your joy and excitement of motherhood.
That is some really good advice. I often wonder why some women get so worked up about things and then read crazy experiences on the internet and get even more worked up.
Relax and call the nurse!