Before becoming a mother I did a lot of research in the parenting department. I read books about Attachment Parenting. I studied up on Free-Range. I soaked in all the theories regarding Co-Sleeping, Sleep Training, and Baby-Led Weaning.
However, once my little bundle of joy made her appearance in my life I came to the conclusion that the only parenting category that I truly fit into could only be described as “Fly By The Seat Of My Pants”.
You see, the funny thing about becoming a mother is that we can read all the books and think we know what we are doing, but the harsh reality is there really is no preparing for anything. Motherhood is like a pop quiz in French when you’ve been studying Spanish all along.
There have been countless times when I fully believe I’ll parent one way and then I suddenly find myself deep in the trenches of motherhood, and I do everything the way I thought I would. Except only the exact opposite.
For example, I never thought my kids would have screen time. Fast forward to when my life got cray. I had my sink loaded with last night’s dishes, laundry baskets at maximum capacity, and hair on my head that no dry shampoo could save. It was then that I welcomed Daniel Tiger into my life with open arms.
In the parenting realm I’ve done it all. I’ve bounced back and forth trying to decide where I stand on different issues. I’ve been big into baby wearing, AND I’ve also pushed my babies in a stroller. I formula fed two of my kids, and I then strictly breastfed my youngest baby. I’ve been 100 percent against bed sharing. Until my toddler had a bad dream, and then he decided that he would take up permanent residency in my bed every night.
Guess what? Despite completely flying by the seat of my pants on most parenting hot topics, my kids are all well rounded and pretty darn well adjusted little people.
Flexibility and constant transitions honestly go hand-in-hand with motherhood. It’s a part of life. Change happens, parenting trends dissipate, and we’re left with the raw and real reality.
Just when I think I know what I’m doing and I’m confidant I have mastered one of my children’s phases, the phase is gone. Only to be followed by something completely new and different where I have NO clue what I am doing. And this leaves me scrambling, over-whelmed, and completely flying by the seat of my pants.
My Fly By The Seat of My Pants parenting method isn’t because I don’t care. It’s simply a mixture of adjusting to life and finding what works for each child because each and every child is different. No two children are alike. What works for your baby, may not work for my baby. Heck, what worked for one of my children is not guaranteed (or likely) to work for my others.
Luckily, there is something innately ingrained in us moms that puts us so in tune to our kids that we just know when something is or isn’t working. And I truly believe that’s one of the beautiful things about being a parent.
So my fellow mamas, if you’re completely winging it and flying by the seat of your pants like me – it’s okay. We know what our kids need even when we’re living in survival mode with constant curve balls being hurled at us. We got this, and there’s really no one-size fits all parenting style anyway.