When my husband and I were spending the most time getting to know each other, it was through instant messaging (that good ‘ole MSN Messenger…who remembers that?!) or when he called my dorm room phone from his first cell phone (can’t believe that phone number is still in my head…). I was in west Tennessee going to college, and he was in central Oklahoma. We knew each other before we made our respective college choices, but the distance only made our hearts grow fonder.
It was in one of those many late night phone conversations that we talked about how many kids we would like to have someday. I was surprised to learn that he wanted 4, just like I did. We agreed it would be nice to have some biological and maybe adopt as well.
What we couldn’t imagine in the midst of our lovey-dovey talks was that we would end up not being able to have any biological children due to fertility complications.
After years of not getting pregnant, we did unsuccessful minor fertility treatments. We chose to not try further treatments because it was just not something we wanted. Meanwhile, all around us many of the other couples in our lives: family, friends, church, work, acquaintances…appeared to be reproducing at almost an alarming rate. Sometimes, it was really hard to be around that.
I felt like I went through the stages of grief, mourning my inability to be a “real” woman and wife because I couldn’t get pregnant. I mourned for what I believed in the back of my mind would never happen. I was mourning for something that I lost…that I had never even had.
After we had been married for about five years, we heard an informational and inspirational talk by a local adoption and foster care agency that really got our wheels turning. When the next foster care training was offered, we signed right up. The next Fall we did our foster care training and the necessary requirements such as getting background checks, finger prints, home studies, naming references, etc. It was about four months of classes, paperwork, and waiting for results. We were almost fully approved to foster when we had to put fostering on hold for personal reasons. Since all of our foster care classes were good for five years, we decided to pursue fostering again at a later date.
About two years later, we were made aware of a set of siblings in the care of OKDHS foster care whose case was possibly moving toward termination of the biological parental rights. After rights were terminated, we were able to be named as the potential adoptive family. After about another six month long process of applications, updating our information with OKDHS, and overcoming multiple road blocks that almost halted the whole situation several times, we were able to be approved as the adoptive family for these siblings. We are still in the adoption process, but are very excited to be adding these kiddos to our home.
Adoption can change lives. If you have any interest in fostering or adopting children, please take the time right now to pursue that interest. There are various agencies around the OKC metro area that provide services and support. Check out AdoptUsKids for Oklahoma. There are 350 children here who are waiting for someone to love them. Imagine if that someone is YOU!
November is National Adoption Month so this is the time for you to step up and be a forever home for a waiting child.
If you’d like to get more information from Courtney or just leave her some love, let her know in the comments!