Am I CRAZY For Wanting a Third Baby?

third baby 1

I’m sitting at a cross-roads guys, and I’m feeling a little stuck. Here we are – the all-American standard family of four. Things are evenly balanced, boys and girls, one-to-one parent/child ratio, fitting nicely in a 3-bedroom house (although the single bathroom is a bit crammed).

Logic tells us that our family should be complete, but my heart is telling me that there is someone missing. Even when my daughter is acting like a complete terror and I’m about to curl up in a ball and cry from defeat, I still can’t help but shake the thought. It isn’t baby fever. It’s different. It’s my heart telling me that our family is without a certain member, a really special, awesome one. Hang on—HAVE I LOST MY MIND??

What does a good day look like in your household? Mine would be two compliant and helpful children, a completed to-do list, a picked-up house, a great home-cooked meal, and some quality time with the kiddos and hubby before bed. At this point, I would be thrilled with my day, but still on the verge of exhaustion.

What in the world would I have left to offer a third child?? I am tapped out on a GOOD day. Should we even talk about the rough days? Fits, fighting, crying, whining, stomach bugs, picky eaters, arguing, grocery store shenanigans, cleaning, organizing, LAUNDRY!! Do I have enough patience for numero tres? Do we have enough money? Is there enough wine in all the land for the rough days with three? Someone please tell me!

third baby

Currently about 50% of EVERY. DAY.

You know, the obstacles increase in society with a family of 5 (or larger). America loves families of 4. You can easily get a table at a restaurant for 4, family passes are usually for 4 members, take-out is easily shared with a foursome, houses are most often found with 3 bedrooms, and your SUV says it seats five but that’s a joke because you could only fit Gumby between the 2 car seats in the back.

And let’s face it, larger families, your babysitter list gets cut in half after you pass the two-child mark. Not to mention those sweet “I can watch your kids for free once in a while!” offers… Yup, go ahead and kiss those goodbye. The struggle, oh it is REAL.

So here we are.  With all these cons, who would want to even explore the option of more? Still me: the crazy lady with no regard for her sanity or the obstacles ahead.   It’s scary to think about going back to having an infant again, because I’ll be honest, those things are NEEDY. It’s scary to think about possibly having another daughter, because I already fear the one I have (yes, I said fear). It’s scary to think about how hard/expensive it will be to go visit my family 1300 miles away. But it scares me more to let go of this deep yearning in my heart to meet our next child. It scares me more to wonder for the rest of my life if we should have tried one more time.

Family of four. Family of five. Family of five plus future foster children? Who knows what the future holds for us?! All I know now is that I am blessed with a hilarious, spicy family that is willing to make a little more room on the couch and pop up the third row of the minivan, if needed. Am I crazy for wanting a third? Probably so.

But being sane never fit me well anyway.

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9 Responses to Am I CRAZY For Wanting a Third Baby?

  1. Jamie January 11, 2016 at 8:22 am #

    When I was pregnant with my third I got a lot if looks and comments. I had one girl and one boy and I was surprised how open people were in telling me that “was enough” or that my family was “already complete”. It was as though the only reason to have a third child would be to try for a certain gender if you already had 2 of the other. Because I had a boy and a girl I was supposed to be content, I suppose. I now have 4 children including my 2 month old baby. I feel complete at four children, but I’m thrilled for my friend who just announced she’s pregnant with her 6th. I’m also happy for friends who have stopped at 1 or 2 children. Everyone’s ideas, desires and capacities are different. We should celebrate every family regardless of the number of children it includes. Don’t let society or judgemental individuals dictate how many children you have.

  2. Alison January 11, 2016 at 11:28 am #

    Contrary to what my daughters think, I had a third child because I wanted a third CHILD, not a boy. I didn’t feel my family was complete with just two children.

  3. Shyra January 11, 2016 at 11:51 am #

    Of course my answer is go for it! As a mama of four kids from 4-8, (and praying for more) I am here to tell you IT IS POSSIBLE! Your love grows and and your kids learn to share more than just a room or toys! They are each others best friends. We absolutely have really hard days. And praise God there is grace for that! But we still have a great group of friends that we swap childcare with so we can have dates and overnights away. We still can get tables at restaurants (we usually call ahead or just wait it out) and we don’t feel stretched too thin. I absolutely understand the feeling of someone missing from our family. And I couldn’t help but laugh out loud with your comment on fearing your daughter, haha Mimi makes me fearful for more girls sometimes. She’s got enough drama to go around lol. Love this post!

  4. Laurel January 13, 2016 at 1:34 pm #

    This article is EXACTLY where I am! I’m thankful for my two kiddos (boy and girl), but have those same feelings…. And then keep wondering if I’m crazy for feeling that way!! I’m glad I’m not alone :). Thank you!

  5. Tabatha Moore January 13, 2016 at 2:25 pm #

    I had this thought oh….like…..we mths ago when i found out i was pregnant with my third. I knew i wanted one more. I just forgot that its not all that cute sometimes. Its really hard. Im 31 so i thought my third will never happen. Speaking from the mother of 2 girls and finally my lil man…..its so very amazing with 3. My two girls are very helpful. My house has 3bedrooms but its perfect. I am very very pleased with my three gorgeous beautiful amazing children….even when i am in the fetal position losing my mind. All the chaos is worth it!!!!

  6. Rose Santuci-Sofranko January 13, 2016 at 4:17 pm #

    The Lord may be speaking to your heart…if you are using birth control then that goes against His Will for being open to life…welcoming a new life into yours will be a wonderful gift created out of love.

  7. CB January 14, 2016 at 2:54 pm #

    I ask myself this same question at least 20 times a week. In the end, im pretty sure we will do it, although it feel crazy even thinking about it. Glad to know I’m not alone 😉

  8. Christie January 20, 2016 at 8:19 pm #

    I’ve already visited my fertility specialist to start the process for a 3rd. I have a boy and girl. Both good natured, confident and fun to be around most days. I’ve always wanted a 3rd and I’m so happy that my husband also feels like our family is not quite complete yet.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] weak smile and shook my head. We’d been discussing, yet again, whether we wanted to try for a third baby. And the conclusion we reached was the same as always: Maybe someday. But right now we’re […]

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