These are just a few of the surface questions that moms ask themselves when trying to find childcare, and rightfully so.
Who is taking care of your child? How do you choose a person, the right person? How do you get to know them? Maybe you are looking for some guidelines, from an experienced nanny, as to how to answer these questions. If so you are in the right place. As I think about what five important characteristics parents should look for, I think about my own future children and my nieces and nephews. How would I find the perfect nanny for my family or theirs?
The Five Musts:
- Trust
- Communication
- Willingness to ask questions
- Confidence to figure out solutions
- Energy/Motivation
But what do these MEAN?
Trust:
Do you trust this person to drive your car?
Do you trust this person with your credit cards?
Do you trust this person with your computer password?
Do you trust this person with your house key?
If you answered no to any of these questions, don’t hire them.
You must trust this person to the maximum. They hold your most precious joy all day and maybe all week.
Communication:
This person should be easy to talk to, they should be easy to admit their flaws, they shouldn’t seem perfect and they should seem perfectly honest (this one goes back to trust). They should talk to you about what went on during the day, they should mention any worries or concerns they might have. You should feel an instant connection with this person. Almost like that “love at first sight” feeling some of us get. Conversations shouldn’t be forced; the interview process should be more than just question and answers; it should be a natural flow of conversation.
Communication is important to detect early; you want your nanny to be able to tell you anything that happened that day. Maybe the nanny went to the restroom and she wasn’t watching the child for a split second and when she came out he was eating crayons. You want her to be able to communicate that without feeling scared, in case the child has a stomach ache later and then you would then know why. Find a nanny through communication with friends, or friends of friends, and get her references. Remember to take in what everyone else has to say but be aware that people have different experiences with different people and some may fit together better. Communication is key.
Willingness to ask:
A nanny might think she does, but she doesn’t. You don’t want a “know it all” as a nanny. A nanny isn’t the mom; she’s a vessel for the parents while they are away. You want someone who is willing to adapt to your way of teaching and learning with her own spin on things. You are the parents; you should decide how to discipline, the naptime rituals, and simple things like the kind of music they listen to. Sometimes, however, there may be things you forget to mention, important things, and you want your nanny to be willing to ask you and not come up with her own ideas of how your child should be raised. Your nanny should be a vessel.
Confidence to figure out solutions:
There are times when you don’t need to ask questions and want the nanny to figure out the solution.With a nanny, finding a balance with those two characteristics is key. You want your nanny to feel as if she could in fact figure out a solution to any problem or emergency for that matter. She’s quick on her feet and has a set plan of action in mind. A great interview question (after she gets comfortable, and you are feeling connected) is “What if there was an emergency right now? And I wasn’t here? What would you do?”
Remember she doesn’t have a car seat and might not even know where the closest hospital is.
This question will make or break it for a nanny in interview. At this point it’s completely your jurisdiction to decide whether her answer has satisfied you. An “I don’t know, I wasn’t prepared for that question,” is not the best answer. So not only should the nanny feel confident in figuring out solutions, you as a mom should feel confident in the solutions she chooses.
Energy and Motivation:
Choosing a nanny is tough. Nannies that have zero motivation to be a nanny are not good nannies. Those are what I call “TV watching nannies”. They don’t watch your child, they watch TV, and your child watches themselves. “I think I like children” is not a great phrase to come out of a potential nanny’s mouth.
Childcare is not an experiment to see where to go next, but don’t confuse that with a stepping stone. Nannies who use childcare as a stepping stone are great candidates, as long as all five of the above characteristics are in their “character bank.” You want your nanny to be thinking about an abundance of ideas and activities, most likely even talking about it out loud. She should always be coming up with new crafts and games, even if she doesn’t always follow through with them. At least she is thinking about how to create a fun and learning environment for your child, instead of dreading to come to work.
Lots of high school and college young adults come into the nanny world thinking it is easy, but it’s only easy if you are a “TV watching nanny”. It’s up to you to notice or not the type of motivation and how much energy the nanny will bring to the table.
Remember that when choosing a nanny you are in control, you should feel in control and you should remain in control.
Who is taking care of our child(ren)?
How can we know she is a good nanny?
Will she love our children?
Will she treat them like her own?
If you are in control and your nannies “characteristic bank” is full of “the five”, these are questions you should be able to answer confidently.
Use your own parental judgment, and definitely follow your instincts.
Do you use a nanny for your childcare? How did you find “The One”?
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Claire Jackson grew up in the Austin, TX area. She moved to Oklahoma for love and the need for change. She is one happy wife to Steven (a Medical Physicist and Ph.D. student). Claire graduated from Oklahoma University with her Behavioral Development and Social Justice degree. She has been a nanny for roughly 10 years, and wouldn’t change it. Claire CANNOT wait to have children of her own one day, and eventually open her own preschool. If she’s not watching a little one, you can find her in her garden, crafting/sewing, or walking her pup. She is obsessed with organics, recycling and all things local.
Julie B Says: “I never had to worry when Nanny Claire was with the boys; even on my first day back to work after the boys were born I didn’t worry, because she just made me feel like they were safe with her. The love that Claire has for all of the children she nannies is undeniable, it is truly a gift to be able to love others’ children the way she does. We will never be able to replace the love and devotion that Claire has for our boys, it’s like she and the boys never miss a beat. She is definitely considered part of the family.”
